You're gonna love my nuts.
Men of Tumblr, I’m counting on you to make this one good.
I got stuck
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i called my grandpa to wish him a happy 69th birthday and he said, “I skipped straight to 70. I don’t do 69 anymore, I’m too old to bend that way” and started laughing hysterically
grandpa
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my dad went to the hospital to get his gallbladder checked out and this is the shit he pulls
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This is my new friend, Reggie the Pig!!! He was surrendered to Farm Sanctuary when his owner (who intended to raise him for slaughter) decided his life was more important than her taste buds. Now he’s living with other pigs and enjoying the company of human friends, too. The note I received about him says, “We knew Reggie felt at home when one night he began to pile straw next to his caregiver. He was building a nest for his friend to sleep in - an act of love that few pigs perform for anyone outside their own species.”
This whole thing is glorious, congratulations <3
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Bill Murray wanders around New York, randomly crashing parties and giving fatherly advice to people.
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HERE WE SEE THE NASTY VICIOUS PITBULL IN IT’S HORRIFYINGLY NATURAL HABITAT
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Come on, Jafar. At least hypnotize all of us into thinking Gilbert Gottfried’s voice is pleasant.
5 Famous Movie Characters Who Wasted Awesome Superpowers
#4. Jafar Could Have Just Hypnotized Everyone
Even before he gets hold of the magic lamp and wishes to become a sorcerer, Jafar already has some pretty cool supernatural abilities: He is able to hypnotize the sultan three different times using his snake staff.
Using his powers, Jafar convinces the sultan to give him his family’s ring and, later, his daughter’s hand (and the rest of her body). Smooth, Jafar.
Why is Jafar only using his hypnotic powers on the sultan, though?
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To my followers
My ask is always open. Feel free to ask me anything.
On a side note, I asked my girlfriend if my ask was open and she thought I asked “is my ass scoping?”… the fuck babe…
Well, I was scopin’ that ass! ;p
15 amazing things in nature you won’t believe actually exist
15 places I will go to before I dieAll of these except burn down 12
YEAH LET ME JUST BUY A PLANE TICKET TO PAKISTAN TO VISIT SOME FUCKING SPIDER TREE FROM HELL
I agree with the last two.
Diabetes here I come!
What the
god damn it
why must we play god
Joby we have a new way to achieve diabetes faster
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meI wonder if any girl has had a crush on me. Like I mean without me talking to them. You know? That crush you get when you see someone you’ve never met, and never talked to, but they just look so unf.
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